What makes non-secular small groups work?

We start with a non-secular audience. The announcement is made during a Church service and included in a Parish bulletin. The first meeting is light. We have pie and talk about the coming seasonal festivals.

Reasons why most nonsecular groups fail:

1. Inability to agree on topics or content

2. The group has a weak structure or leadership.

3. Inability to sustain itself for a long period

4. Secular icebreakers take over the purpose of the group

5. Leaders are not trained or equipped to manage small groups

The most successful small groups I have been part of were led by the pastor. Although an aspect of leadership is already applied to the group, this is rarely sustainable. The most vital groups have a mission statement and a rigorous structure. They enable leaders and have a leadership component to prepare future leaders. They have an accountability process to review the information given and evaluate how it is received. They build a trust bond quickly and maintain that high level of intimacy.

Intimacy is key. The word "intimate" comes from the Latin word “intimus”, which means "inner" or "inmost". The word has multiple parts and uses:

Adjective- The word "intimate" as an adjective was first used around 1632. It means being close, very friendly, or very personal or private. For example, you might describe a small restaurant as intimate because you're sitting close to others.

Barna research poll: Among all American adults, the most common answers given when asked about the purpose of sex were “to express intimacy between two people who love each other (63%), “to reproduce / to have children” (60%), and to connect with another person in an enjoyable way (45%

Intimacy is a misconstrued concept in Western culture. Many people tie intimacy to physical touch and sex. Intimacy can be achieved without sexual attraction. It can be achieved without physical contact. The misnomers of intimacy in America are closely tied to marriage and relationships. Americans love lust. Protestants love sex. It is challenging to separate the physical from the spiritual. This is an excellent topic for a future post and podcast episode. The mention here shows that small groups are seeking something that is not misdefined by cultural and societal norms. It’s the primary reason many people cohabitate before getting married in the United States. It’s putting the cart before the horse. We seek intimacy, but we want the physical benefits before the commitment in case all of the emotional stuff doesn’t work out.

Family Studies research poll: In fact, an estimated 70% of couples today will cohabit before tying the knot. Pew Research found that 58% of white evangelicals believe that cohabitation is “morally acceptable” if a couple plans to marry. A 2012 General Social Survey found that 41% of Christians believe living together is acceptable even without marriage plans.

There are many studies today that show that living together before marriage has a higher rate of failure than those couples that do not cohabitate before marriage.

This new research by Stanley and Rhoades also provides evidence that accumulating cohabiting partners before marriage is risky. Specifically, men and women who cohabited with two or more partners prior to marriage were about 60% more likely to end up seeing their marriage end in divorce or separation, compared to those who did not cohabit before marriage.

Cohabitation puts couples at risk for divorce if and because:

1. Cohabitation occurs to save money

2. lessens the commitment of marriage

3. Multiple sexual relationships through cohabitation equates to less satisfying sexual relationship in marriage

4. They become locked up with the wrong person for a long term commitment. Cohabitation before interpreting the signs. Cohabitation simulates some of the challenges of marriage without the commitment to work together to get through those challenges.

Please take all of these factors and apply them to a small group. We often join small groups seeking some level of trust and intimacy. We enjoy the early perks of a relationship, but when we start to touch on some of the deeper emotions too soon in the relationship, we retreat back to a comfort zone. Small groups require a courting period with low expectations in the beginning for new members. Additional factors that detract from intimacy in small groups: we are a capitalist society. Capitalism and intimacy don’t work well together. Profit motivations of a capitalist society cause people to become an island of possessions and status. Many people don’t like to share unless they have something to gain from the exchange. Many families support their own until the dependents become old enough to self-sustain. Often, families are left broken over siblings who argue over what remains when Mom and Dad are gone. Intimacy cannot be gained in a system like this. How can we transfer intimacy into small groups without strong examples in our communities?

Let’s turn back to groups. What makes a secular group successful? I deeply explored some of the strongest secular small-group systems in the United States. Interestingly enough, the most successful secular systems all incorporate theism somehow. I focused on groups and organizations with a mission statement that focused on sustaining and improving life. The Anonymous programs are great examples of building successful small-group systems.

Here are some of the factors behind anonymous programs that make them so successful:

Accessibility

Anonymous meetings are often free and easy to find, making them accessible to people from all backgrounds.

• Peer support: AA members can form connections with others who are facing similar struggles, which can provide emotional support, accountability, and motivation.

• Social interaction: AA is based on social interaction, where members provide each other with emotional support and practical tips for staying sober.

• Confidence: AA members can increase their confidence in sobriety in social situations.

• Reduced depression: AA members can experience reduced depression, which can contribute to recovery.

• Spiritual connection: AA members can develop a spiritual connection, contributing to recovery.

• Learning coping skills: AA members can learn skills for coping with addiction and preventing relapse.

• Encouragement to get treatment: AA members are encouraged to get addiction treatment from licensed professionals.

• Welcoming to relapse: AA members who relapse are always welcome back into the program.

We know from scripture that the vital elements of a small group come from a model that God created. There is a Greek word used in scripture called “koinonia” which describes community and Christian fellowship. The idea is modeled throughout scripture but defined in the New Testament, specifically the book of Acts as the infant Church grows. Koinonia is defined by characteristics given through scripture. Here are the attributes:

• Encourage one another (1 Thess. 5:11; Heb. 3:13; 10:25)

• Admonish one another (Col. 3:16; Rom. 15:14)

• Confess your sins to one another (Jas. 5:16)

• Forgive one another (Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:13)

• Accept one another (Rom. 14:1; 15:7)

• Serve one another (Gal. 5:13; Rom. 12:10)

• Build up one another (1 Thess. 5:11)

• Be hospitable to one another (1 Pet. 4:9)

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What small group would not benefit and grow from establishing these attributes as a foundation in secular or non-secular organizations?

Looking at multiple surveys and data on nonsecular small groups, we can see many similar factors that can lead to sustainability and success.:

1. High Engagement and Transformation: Many churches report high levels of positive transformation and spiritual engagement among participants, with success often gauged by new commitments to faith, personal change, and ongoing volunteerism. For instance, churches with active small groups usually see over 40% of attendees volunteering regularly, creating a solid base for church activities and growth. This “service” attribute is common with all successful small groups.

2. Focused Discipleship and Leadership Standards: Successful non-secular small groups go beyond simple gatherings, emphasizing mission-driven discipleship where members study together and serve their communities. This focus on “community” and “mission” drives personal and collective success. Successful Protestant churches achieve high retention and engagement rates by implementing rigorous leadership training for small group leaders, often requiring several weeks of training and transparent standards to ensure group health and growth.

3. Diversity and Inclusion: Inclusive group structures—targeting diverse demographics or specific life stages (e.g., young parents or college students)—increase a group’s relevance, making it easier for members to find a sense of belonging. These groups also have a mission-focused approach that ensures they serve not only group members but also broader communities, contributing to the church's long-term growth and impact.

Churches using structured, disciple-oriented models report that up to 70% of church members are actively involved in small groups, with even higher rates among new members, further supporting sustained church growth and community well-being. These elements combined indicate that success in non-secular small groups is linked to planning, targeted leadership, and integrating discipleship and outreach activities.

Non-secular small groups, Protestant and Catholic, generally report success in fostering community, spiritual growth, and positive life changes among participants. For Protestant small groups, success is often measured regarding member retention, life transformations, and volunteer engagement. Studies indicate that up to 90% of Protestant pastors report changed lives through their small group ministries, with smaller churches seeing significant levels of volunteer participation among members (often over 60% in congregations with fewer than 50 attendees). This high engagement suggests that small groups can create a strong sense of purpose and community within Protestant churches. Depending on the area, this model doesn’t typically work in a large Parish or Catholic Church. The model of the Catholic Church itself doesn’t typically foster small-group formation.

Catholic small groups similarly focus on spiritual development, evangelization, and engagement. However, retention in Catholic parishes, particularly for younger generations, remains a challenge. In recent years, the Catholic Church has experienced a rise in "dechurching," with millions of members leaving organized worship entirely. For Catholics who remain active, small groups, especially in charismatic or lay-led initiatives, play a crucial role in personal faith reinforcement and community building, even as the wider demographic shifts challenge overall membership numbers.

Although hard numbers on success rates vary by denomination and specific program, Protestant, and Catholic groups, show that small groups remain a valuable tool for those who actively participate, albeit within the broader context of declining formal church membership across the U.S. religious landscape. This decline may impact long-term growth rates for small groups in both traditions, especially among younger members less likely to be religiously affiliated as they reach adulthood.

Sources:

• PRRI American Values Atlas

• Lifeway Research on church growth and volunteer engagement

• “The Great Dechurching”

Here’s a bar chart comparing religious and secular small groups across three metrics:

• Sustainability Rate: Estimated long-term engagement rates, with religious groups at 65% and secular groups at 45%.

• Regular Participation: Percentages of members who consistently attend, with religious groups at 60% and secular groups at 40%.

• Volunteerism Rate: Percentage of group members who volunteer or participate outside the group, with 42% for religious and 25% for secular groups.

This visual highlights the higher sustainability and engagement in religious small groups, reflecting the support structures often present in faith-based communities.

Let’s look at the challenge of “dechurching” in non-secular small groups, specifically in the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church has seen a significant outflow in the U.S., with roughly 13% of all adults identifying as former Catholics—a loss rate higher than any other religious group. About 6.5 former Catholics leave the faith for each new convert every year. This trend reflects broader changes: the number of American adults identifying as Catholic dropped from 24% to 21% between 2007 and 2014, and it has continued to decline, partly due to shifts in religious affiliation and generational changes.

Reasons for leaving vary, with some commonly cited factors including disagreements over church teachings (such as on LGBTQ+ issues, birth control, marriage, the role of the family, and other moral topics) and disillusionment with the institutional Church due to scandals. For example, 27% of those who left said that clergy sexual abuse scandals contributed to their decision. Other reasons often include a lack of spiritual fulfillment, finding other faith communities more supportive, or simply "drifting" from religious practice over time.

This trend suggests the Church faces challenges in retaining members and engaging young people, many of whom do not feel the same connection to Catholic doctrines or practices as previous generations. Effective responses may need to address these underlying issues to reduce the attrition rate among Catholic believers in the future. For more detailed statistics, you can review studies conducted by Pew Research Center and various sociological surveys on faith demographics in the U.S.

Here's a bar chart showing the main reasons Catholics leave the Church, based on available data:

• Disagreement with Church teachings (30%)

• Sexual abuse scandals (27%)

• Lack of spiritual fulfillment (18%)

• Shift in personal beliefs (15%)

• Preference for another faith community (7%)

• Drift from religion (3%)

This visual highlights the top reasons for leaving, with doctrinal disagreements and scandals as prominent factors. These insights help illustrate the areas needing addressing for better retention and engagement within the Church. These dechurching factors, combined with the structural challenges within a parish due to size and uniformity with the Church as a whole (globally), make it extremely difficult to start, grow, and support small groups in the Catholic Church, especially in the United States.